We Don’t Have To Take Your Clothes Off

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Celibacy. *single blink* 

Don't eff with me fellas

So THIS is happening. I made the decision about a month ago and I thought I might talk myself out of it, but no. And let me just say it is not the punishment I thought it would be.

My reason?

Well, no one should get one of the most private parts of me (maybe pun intended), if they can’t even spend time with me outside of the bedroom. For the first time, in a damn long time, when someone asks me out – it will just be a night out. That’s all you’re getting, boys. When I challenge myself, you’ll be hard-pressed to get me to steer away until the challenge is complete and that’s a quality I pride myself in.

Alternatives?

I’m fully-focused, man. I’ve taken up a workout challenge (Jillian Michaels’ 30 Day Shred) and it’s working wonders for me. I am catching up/discovering new shows. I’m chipping away at my home renovation projects. I’m really diving head first into work; I haven’t experienced this level of joy working for someone else. I’ve made the executive decision to shut down my styling business, it wasn’t bringing me joy – I was not fulfilled.  I’m  beginning to read books again and find new music to listen to. I’m reconnecting with old friends and most importantly, I’m finally being selfish and it’s fabulous.

It’s a brave new world and little by little, I’m discovering so many great qualities about myself I only wish to share with someone deserving of it. I will not date simply to date and I will not re-join an online dating site. Until I’m in a relationship, I will keep my cookies in this jar.

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Blue

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CONFESSION WEDNESDAYS

Once upon a time, before I had sense, I used to think it was my civic damn duty to relieve whomever I was with from the “blue balls.” Like, I actually allowed these men to make me feel guilty and felt a weight on my conscience because “this poor guy is going to suffer FOREVER if I don’t do anything about this!”

*single blink* Tha f*ck outta here with that noise.  31 years old and I’m getting laugh-abs reading these old journal entries.

Surprisingly enough, men, even at this age, still try to lay this particular guilt trip. In these mature years of my life, I can say with all honesty that I could give the most mangy of rat’s asses about their plight. You have an opposable thumb, lotion and a forearm – tork that for all it’s worth ‘cuz I’m not here for it.

Work it like Kermit

Work it like Kermit, gents.

 My, my, my…  How far… *ahem* …I’ve come.

Excuse Me Mr.

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COTDAMN, I say, COTDAMN!!!! Why do I make excuses for men suffering from severe cases of Triflingitis?!?!?!?!??  *single blink* Oh, you’re not familiar with this syndrome? Let me break it down for you:

Tri·fling·i·tis: an affliction causing men to treat me with a lack of significance or solid worth”

Schmidt Cal-Cut-A-Bitch

The newbies and the oldies endear themselves to me because I convince myself that they’re nice guys on the most part, but really, they are not nice guys. Nice guys don’t leave you feeling like a sack of forgotten trash.  Yes, I know no one can make me feel anything I don’t allow them to…blah blah blah.

Listen, I’m human. If someone treats me badly, I will feel bad. I get over it but when the wound is raw, I can’t help those feelings. Is this yet another new leaf for me? I think it’s going to have to be. I’m either going to be with someone who possesses all the qualities I find important in a human being and partner or baby’s not having anything at all.

Can We Talk?

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Last year, I campaigned to meet Donald Glover and I’m happy to admit I did get that opportunity. It’s not a story I’m going to re-tell because it was beyond surreal. One day, just not today.  2013, however, is a time for newer and bigger goals and I’m beginning a brand-new campaign entitled #WaitingForWayans!

I can’t explain my fandom for his ABC sitcom “Happy Endings” or him in general. He’s a bonafide prince of comedy royalty (The Wayans Family). His hilarious delivery and complete comfort in wildly abandoning any and all inhibitions for a laugh; I almost forget he’s a MAY-JAH Baldwin*! (Proof pictured below).

Damon Wayans, Jr. in GQ

Damon Wayans, Jr. in GQ

His character, Brad Williams, is married to Jane Kerkovich-Williams (played by Eliza Coupe), and you know how I feel about positive on-screen depictions of in-love couples. The mere fact they’re an interracial couple is icing on the cake – no pun intended. I could’ve said it was chocolate icing on all dat vanilla cake, but I didn’t want to go there. *single blink*

It’s come to that point in his career when he should chat to an unknown blogger about his success with this show and his thoughts of interracial couples on tv, his ups and downs in the real world of dating and just get all the T*.  I think this would be an enlightening interview and pretty much a dream for me.

I need y’all to tweet him at @wayansjr and let him know what’s going on. This will be long and arduous but I’m hoping you’ll help be the bee in his bonnet. Please copy and paste the message below into a tweet:

“Greetings @wayansjr, @Bettykiss wants to interview you. Don’t leave her #WaitingForWayans. #SingleBlink”

Let’s make this happen, it will only benefit you when you’re laughing your heads off from whatever I get from him.

*Baldwin – A really hot guy. He is usually dateable and it raises your social status if you go out with him. (Thank you, Urban Dictionary & Cher Horowitz from “Clueless”)

*The T – The truth