So Fresh, So Clean

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Douching.

christina feeling it

Let’s talk about it.

Do you? Dontchu? I guess I understand the “controversy” (…not really): women naturally secrete liquids, riiiiiight? There IS an odour that goes along with the aforementioned secretions, riiiiiiiiiight? It’s basically built-in lube, RIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT?! It’s healthy. It’s normal. So what, who cares…

*single blink*

vomit

These opinions are mine and mine alone. Mine and weirdly,Terrence Howard’s. DO YOU REMEMBER THAT RIDICULOUS  STATEMENT HE MADE???  Ahem…

Terrence Howard on his deal-breaker:

“Toilet paper – and no baby wipes – in the bathroom. If they’re using dry paper, they aren’t washing all of themselves. It’s just unclean. So if I go in a woman’s house and see the toilet paper there, I’ll explain this. And if she doesn’t make the adjustment to baby wipes, I’ll know she’s not completely clean.”

First of all, he’s crazy and he makes me laugh in disbelief. If you read the rest of his statements though…you’d steer clear of him (read more here). BUT, I do understand him to a point because I’ve been living with toilet paper and femme wipes in my life forever. Anything this girl (me) can do to get rid of that au naturel mess, you best believe I’mma do. The moment before the moment I found out douche existed, I was already counting my nickels and dimes to get me some at Bargain Henry’s at my local shop mart. I have never embarked on the internal things – that I think is too much to take. I can’t even use tampons. I’m not ashamed.  But the washes and wipes are the lick – all puns intended!!!

Listen. What’s your take? Are you for or against? Are you a feminine wash vet or virj? Do you take any other measures to ensure freshness for yourself and your significant other(s)? And I don’t mean bathing, you little nasties…I hope this is done on the regular. Let’s really talk about this because it’s surprising to see how many people live-and-die by their cleaning habits.

Let’s go.

Romeo

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If you’re a Facebook friend, a Twitter follower or you know me in real life, you will know how obsessed I am with GIFs and “The Mindy Project” on FOX. Well, Buzzfeed combined these into a magical post which could’ve been titled “15 Ways Mindy and Arianne Are The Exact Same Person.”  *single blink* Seriously.

The writing and casting on this show is everything I need because it IS my life. For example: I’m a self-proclaimed comedian whore in this great city of Toronto because funny men are my kryptonite and almost ALL of her love interests are some of Hollywood’s funniest men. Coincidence???!?!?!?!  Yeah, probably but whatever…it speaks to me. It gives me this strange sense of peace knowing this televised phenomenon of a show is being seen by millions and so many can completely relate. WE ARE NOT ALONE and we can laugh about it!

Here are my favourite GIFs from the Buzzfeed post to partially outline why this show means so much to me:

Mindy - Date

Been here.

Done this.

Done this.

Have the goddamn t-shirt.

Have the goddamn t-shirt.

Thank you Buzzfeed  and ART for bringing it to my attention.

P.S. The only reason for the song choice is the obvious “Bollywoodness” of it all and the fact that I think Mindy and I would throw down in an unplanned, choreographed routine on any dance floor that would bring the boys to the yard. Truth.

Feelin’ Single

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LIFE UPDATE!!!

I’ve been off the online dating sites for over a month now. I usually get the itch to check them out again or setup a hidden profile to creep until I slowly inch my way back into the minefields. But not this time and for this, I’m proud. How has my dating life been since emancipating myself from mental slavery, you ask?

Well, I’m not dating. At all. There have been a couple interested men who didn’t make much more than a haphazard move on my fine yet slight bampsy. But trust me when I say their interests were not to have me accompany them to a dinner and show. Needless to say, I’m no worse off than I was before…so….there’s that. *single blink*

In other news, I’m eating my feelings since I’m not getting ate. (YEAH, I SAID IT!!!!!!!!!)

eating my feelings

High For This (NOTHING IS SAFE FOR WORK EVER AGAIN – I’M IN HEAT!)

SINGLE BLINK’S WEEKND GIFT TO YOU

I’ve been discussing this song with my cousin for the last little while because the original, by The Weeknd, is so next level. If you don’t know about him, then get to know him. BUT…this cover was included on DJ Mensa’s “COZY” mixtape (which you can download here! Trust me when I say it’s fire and the final 15 minutes will, quite literally, make you blow your load) and I cannot express how much I love it. Not in comparison, in contrast, blah blah blah. Just as its own entity – I absolutely love what Ellie Goulding’s voice did with this song.

Where am I going with this? Come along…

There’s a difference between sex, making love, intercourse, f*cking, “doin’ it” and all the other terms you can use for putting the P in a V or an A. It depends on your partner, right? The mood, the environment. Sometimes you have all of these in one session or sometimes you go through each type with the same partner (at least I hope you do because it’s the variety which makes things fun). The point I’m trying to make is if all of these terms for sex could manifest itself into a modern-day song, IT WOULD BE THIS DAMN SONG. *single blink*

This weekend, put this version or the original (or both) on a playlist, turn the lights off and the candles to “flame,” grab your boo’s bampsy and you tell me (please tell me!) if your bodies don’t ebb and flow to the rhythm and words of this track. It. Is. Sex. Whether you’re high for it…or not (I’d suggest not though).

weed 6

You’re welcome.

The Heat Is On

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The best thing about having a blog is I write about whatever I want, whenever I want. There are absolutely no rules. F*ck the reminiscing about my favourite posts from last year!  Y’all need to know I’m in heat. Like, the hottest physical heat anyone has ever experienced. *single blink*

Sitting next to a man on the TTC…

ovaries

A male cashier making small talk…

ovaries 2

Seeing a hot dog…

ovaries 3

I don’t know how long this fiery course will stay lit, but I’m not complaining. I feel alive. Every sense is heightened. Men of Toronto, please understand me when I say:

body ready

Power

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Single Blink is a whole year old today and I want to thank every last one of you who has given me feedback. 2013 will only be bigger and better. WordPress provided a summary of my year and my favourite part was the following because if you know me, this is the only way I’ll understand those things called “calcumalations”:

 

Screen Shot 2013-01-07 at 10.47.34 PM

Soda and fashion, y’all! I HAVE THE POWER!!!!!!!!!!

I mentioned I was giving away shoes donated by the lovely Ms. Gail Vaz-Oxlade and the time has come to let you know who I’ve chosen to receive them.

THE WINNER IS…

AMANDA!
(Here’s her story)

“Since in 2011 I started getting my first big girl paycheques, 2012 was all about getting in control of my debt. I opened my first RRSP, and finally paid off my $34,000 student loan, which had been a monkey on my back for 6 years. I even somehow managed to move out into my own apartment, with no roommates, which is pretty much the best ever. Plus, I was able to get a car, which, since I work in Scarborough and live in the east end of Toronto, saves me hours of commute time each day. So, I did treat myself, but responsibly, and I’m really proud of making all the dollars fit together like that.”

Congratulations, m’lady. You absolutely deserve these – I’m so proud of you for getting sh!t done!

Here’s to 2,013 more single blinks!

F*ck Me Pumps

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It’s Single Blink’s anniversary on January 8th, the first of many more I hope. In celebration, I’ve decided to have a contest. At the same time I began this blog, I also began writing for Ms.Gail Vaz-Oxlade as one of her Other Voices. It was one of the highest of lights during my 2012. I was able to shine a light on my financial difficulties and talk them out, receive feedback from complete strangers going through the same thing and in those six months, I changed my life around for the better.  I bought my first place and finally accumulated some savings. Those savings were to go toward my 31st birthday adventure to Paris but I found myself unemployed from July to November and those savings (and thank goodness I had them), were used for groceries, mortgage and whatever else I needed at the time. I wasn’t able to treat myself to my fantasy birthday abroad, but things are much better now. I’m working (YAY!) and starting from my first pay this year, I’m going to begin building my savings once more so I can get my booty to Paris…PRONTO! In saying this, I’ve decided to have a TREAT YO’ SELF giveaway for SB’s anniversary because everyone deserves a little something special when you aren’t financially able to do it yourself.

I’ve stayed in touch with Gail even though I’m no longer an “other voice” and she tweeted she had some shoes (size 10) she wore on her show and was inquiring how/where she could get rid of them. I jumped on the chance to take them off her hands. You may not realize I have my own wardrobe styling business too, so helping someone add a little fun to wardrobe is my calling! I wear size 11 shoes so I understand the plight of the large-footed woman so I thought this would be a fun way to give these gems away.

THE GIVEAWAY RULES:

If you or someone you know, used 2012 to really do things change your life, take control and you weren’t able to treat yourself, I want to know your or their story!  Shoot me an email (singleblinkblog@gmail.com) outlining what you did for yourself. On January 8th, I will post the three best messages I receive and leave it up to y’all to vote.  The winner will receive two pairs of gently-used size 10 pumps from the dressing room of Ms.Gail Vaz-Oxlade herself.

Anniversary Giveaway

You get BOTH! Yes, both pairs of shoes.

So exciting!!!