Message Understood

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#6 – DON’T continually message someone who has not messaged you back

Bugaboos. We’ve all had them, we’ve probably all been one at some point (whether we want to admit it or not). Here’s the thing about online bugaboos, you will always get caught. Always.

Their homebase, I'm sure.

Their homebase, I’m sure.

Now, I’ve been an unintentional bugaboo and I ain’t proud of it but I’ll own it. I’ve messaged the same person more than once because they completely changed their profile and photos and I didn’t realize it was the same dude. WORST!

The message systems on OK Cupid and Plenty of Fish make it easy to figure out. If someone messages you and you’re not ’bout it-’bout it (or ’bout them) and you delete the message without responding your inbox will be cleared. BUT if they message you again, their first message to you will re-appear; it remains in a conversation string. I love this function. You can see an ongoing reel of “Hi” and “Good evening” and “What’s up?” And to add to my post yesterday re: copy-pasters, you will see the same message over and over to prove they have broken one of these rules. It’s up to you whether you want to block them or not, but I just delete and have a chuckle for dessert.

Check the time stamp. Like, WTF?

Check the time stamp. Like, WTF? It’s like he forgot he messaged me 48 seconds earlier.

Now there are those who are a lil on the cray side. Being a lady of a deep ‘n’ delicious chocolate cake skin tone, I get my fair share of racists taking their time to let me know how they really feel. I’m assuming my pigment asked them a question my brain doesn’t remember manifesting into words. *single blink* With these repeat messagers, I definitely utilize the block option. But some of the more unstable will create and/or use another profile to continue their assault of words. I just continue to block and eventually they tire.

Plenty of Fish has it kinda right; you can view your contact history and sort by profiles you’ve contacted first and vice versa. I think POF and OKC should have an indicator on profiles you’ve messaged so you don’t make the same mistake twice. I don’t necessarily remember all of the online handles and photos change; if the site added a little check mark or some kind of symbol showing “Already Messaged,” so many of us wouldn’t waste our time. Another great indicator of a repeat offender is your mail settings. I always choose “NO”  to the option: “Allow emails (first contact) from users without images on their profile.” If someone doesn’t have a photo on their profile, they can’t message me. If they do and they don’t attach a photo to their message, POF will automatically attach all the photos on their profile. So HERE is the great part, if I receive a message and there’s no photo attached to it, it means they’ve already messaged me and I’ve obviously never replied. BOOM! You got caught, boyeeee!

Take the hint, folks: if you don’t receive a reply, just move on. That person is not worth another shot if they aren’t willing to pick up what you’re throwing down.


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