Another One Bites The Dust

Please press play: 

I MADE IT TO A SECOND DATE LAST WEEK, FRIENDS!!  But on Saturday he disappeared into thin air. I’m not exaggerating. I literally have no idea where he is or where…he is. *single blink* He just stopped communicating so I surgically removed him and any trace of him from my phone. Obviously, this got me goin’ deep again. Maybe I need to redefine what I think success is in the world of dating.

My new words to live by:

And I’m fixin’ to Popeye the hell outta of my life. (toot! toot!)

**UPDATE** As soon as I scheduled this to post – he reappeared! Reappeared in text form at 1AM. I know it’s him because it’s just a series of numbers I don’t recognize in my phone because I deleted his rass as I said above (“rass” is patois for “ass,” “backside,” “butt,” “behind” – you get it now). His message was “We can.” You see, I was the last person to send a message on the weekend and received absolutely no response. Today I sent him a text simply saying I would prefer him to just let me know if we were or were not going to hang out as scheduled today (Wednesday), as we planned last week. I’m assuming that is what the “We can” is answering. Let me break this down for you:

This situation went from him sending me sweet-nothings about being on his mind all day long, pushing our second date up a day early, ‘good morning’ messages, ‘good night’ messages, looking so forward to date #3 to watch the premiere of a show that he exclaimed, “This is our first show together!”   Then radio silence. I like to give blokes the benefit of the doubt because you really don’t know what happens in someone’s life – lost a phone, unexpected travel, family or friend tragedy, whatever.  But since he somehow left this earth after that “our show” conversation, I wanted to cut him some slack. So we went from  the excitement of “our first show” to “We can.”  Computer says no, big poppa. My response, you’re wondering? Here it is: “It’s all good, <insert name here>. But thanks for getting back to me. Good luck with everything.”  He did not respond back and he will not. You can say I’m being unreasonable, you can say I’m being too hard on the dude, but trust me, I just let him off the hook. He lost interest for whatever his reasons may be and that’s fine but man up and don’t go from messaging always to ignoring me. I’m unemployed with nothing on my schedule and no kids and I STILL don’t have time to waste on oxygen thieves.

The wind is strong and taking me to new worlds and new civilizations, kids. I’m boldly going where I have NEVER gone before and you have to work hard as hell to earn a spot on my ship. Call me Captain Cutthroat, y’heard?


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