Go Deep

Please press play: 

I’ve disabled and hidden all of my online dating accounts. Don’t get excited, I haven’t been scooped up nor have I set my sights on another. Je suis très fatiguée. I think it’s always good to step back from that world every so often. You ride so many highs and lows when your profile is viewed aplenty but with very little ROI.

I’m on a timeout.

In doing this, it got me thinking. It got me thinking so deep, yo. I think the singles in my age group (Target market? Demographic? Peers?) are clearly and severely divided into two groups and ONLY two groups. These two groups see the exact same situation in completely different lights.


Life is short.

Group #1

In the hustle and bustle of everything that surrounds us: family, friends, careers, sex, finance, travel, shelter, etc., things need to get done before “settling down” is even an option. There’s so much to see!!! There are so many men (and women or both) to do before it’s too late!!! The maximum amount of fun and experiences must be had before anything else can be considered because once it’s gone…it’s gone. Insert Sam Kinison scream here*single blink*

Group #2 (this is where I live, y’all)

In the hustle and bustle of everything that surrounds us: family, friends, careers, sex, finance, travel, shelter, etc., we realize that time is passing us by. We’re watching friends get engaged, married, have a kid…or maybe two! All of a sudden, that other stuff doesn’t matter as much – I don’t care how big my place is, I don’t need to impress anyone. I don’t care which party I’m invited to, it’s all the same places and faces, isn’t it? I would rather have the next 50 years dedicated to the man I love and the hockey team my uterus allows me to birth. I would rather experience my travels with them, build memories with them, make a home with them, spend my money on them. I don’t consider this “settling down” – this concept doesn’t scare me, it keeps hope alive in my black heart (non-racial reference, I legitimately believe the heart in my chest resembles coal or is blacker than a black man’s cape).

Now, how did my disabling of my online dating profiles bring me to these conclusions? Well…it absolutely boggles my mind that there are still men (and I’m sure women, I just don’t see those profiles) who indicate they are “not looking for a relationship or commitment of any kind.” This is an actual option you can choose on Plenty Of Fish. It is their prerogative to choose this option, they can use the site for whatever connection they decide to make. But to get real-real-real-real-real-real-REAL-real with you – there are SO many! How am I and everyone else in Group #2 such a minority in this world. My friends are engaged, married, pregnant. So there ARE men and women out there, on the regular, totally seeking relationships or a commitment of some kind. So how…in the ACTUAL F*CK…am I only surrounded in the real world and online by men who are looking for one thing and one thing only…and it’s not even my sweet, delectable V? HOW? HOOOOOOOW?

Well, I don’t have the answer to this. But you can see how my mind works and now I’m off the sites for a few months to just ease the pressure in my mindgrapes because I can’t even with this anymore. Cannot. Even.

And for those commenters who are going to leave a comment, be advised: I will not meet anyone now that I’m not looking. Trust me on this one, I’m not being negative – that’s just not how the fates have designed my life. And that’s lucky for you and this blog.


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