Cuts Like A Knife

Please press play: 

I FINALLY saw my brand-new cousin-slash-goddaughter yesterday and she’s as cute as the cutest cute thing around. Just a bundle of absolute innocence and baby smell. And farts. (Proof that she is, in fact, related to me).

CUT TO: my 7 year old cousin who showed up in the evening. A gorgeous little girl but as rude as a carton of milk one day past expiration. She visits me in the kitchen to which I assume I’m getting a hug and a nuzzle but instead I get:

The Rudeness: “Are you getting married?”

Me: “No? Am I supposed to be?”

T.R.: “How old are you?”

Me: “30. Why?”

T.R.: *rolls eyes* “Well then…WHEN?”

Me: “Is there some sort of time limit I’m unaware of?”

T.R.: “I need to be a flower girl, I’m not getting any younger. And neither are you. Hurry up.”

*single blink*

AND. NEITHER. AM. I?!??!!?!  Hurry up?!??!!!   She’s 7!  SHE IS 7!!! How was she able to press the heart-sized bruise currently surrounding my heart? Well, that called for an adult beverage as soon as I got home. Kids say the darndest things, my freshly Nair’d ass crack!

Anyway, this is just a warning to you single girls and guys who are doing it for themselves but still have some emotions left to deal with. Stay strong! The pain of lost loves/no love is so fresh and so clean BUT we can make it through! Even when angel-faced cuddle demons say the words that legitimize our forever fears. I’m here for you so let’s get through this…….together.

(but seriously, she’s 7!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

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6 responses

    • That’s the thing! She will have her perfect man chase her until SHE’S ready to settle down and then she’ll NEVER. LET. HIM. GO. She will not be married more than once.

      This little girl is unlike anyone I’ve ever met. I don’t know where she came from but she has her sister’s DNA and it’s DNA I do not possess.

  1. I can obviously relate to this HARDCORE.

    My six-year-old cousin’s relationship with her boyfriend has lately passed the year mark. Soon, it will be longer than my longest relationship.

    • I knew YOU’D know. And you’re right – all of my nieces, nephews & goddchildren will surpass me too. This is the world we live in now. Jealous of our single digit-aged younguns.

  2. This is the part where I should be glad that my cousins don’t live in Canada, right? Right? Instead I’m sad that I only get to see them in pictures on facebook 😦

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