How Much Wood Would A Woodchuck Chuck?

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Lessons of Summer 2012:

  1. Old loves/lusts come out of the dyam woodwork. Where did you come from all of a sudden? Seriously!
  2. Like my red Olympic mittens, men vanish when I need them in the Fall/Winter and somehow reappear in the warm months when I’m OVER it/them.
  3. When I’m enjoying my warm weather months with a potential, the oldies smell my happiness and do everything in the power to ATTACK it.

One, none or all of these instances may be something you’ve experienced in the past or are currently going through. It’s a cray phenomenon I’d like to leave up to Bill Nye to figure out and then break it down in a way only a four year old could understand. Why is the flow of NEW men so inconsistent? Is it strictly a matter of”Spring Fever?” Does something open their eyes and hearts to the attractivity of me once the temperature gets into the double digits? Is there a seasonal reminder that goes off in their heads where they feel obligated to disturb my sanity?!?!?!?  ‘Cuz my libeeds (aka libido) is outta all control 365 days a year and I can’t be the only one who thinks it’s DAMN rude to be thought of only when it’s convenient for them…can I? *single blink*

If you’re anything like me, you have learned the hard way that the only way to survive the summer is to shut down the woodchucks trying to chomp on your limber lumber. Beggars cannot be choosers, but I’m past the point of begging and you are too (trust me!) We’re all good enough and smart enough to know when someone is trying to make us their backburner booty call.  So join me in telling them all to galang.

All of the men…GALANG!!!


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