Trapped In The Closet


About The Cheeto Girls

Put down those Fritos, drop the Doritos, open our bag & say cheese.
Back in 2002, in the wake of her devastating breakup with Justin Timberlake, a clinically depressed Britney Spears battled a brutal addiction to crushed amphetamines mixed with white cheddar popcorn seasoning, sprinkled on top of vodka-soaked Cheeto Crunchits. One fateful night, following the Toronto premiere of her movie Crossroads, an inebriated Spears was coerced into having a three-way with Weird Al Yankovic and Chester Cheetah. Nine months later, Britney gave birth to triplet daughters. Neither Mr. Yankovic nor Mr. Cheetah would submit to a paternity test, and on the advice of her handlers Spears made the heartbreaking decision to put the girls up for adoption. They were never seen again. 
Until now. 
Mixing saucy dance moves with sassy lyrics (not to mention outfits that put the “attire” in satire), The Cheeto Girls have a varitable cheese platter of Kraft Singles that parody everyone from their mother (Britney Jean Spears) to Beyoncé, Lady Gaga and the Pussycat Dolls! To book a Cheeto Girls performance, email!
Get to know The Cheeto Girls and Heidi Brander!
And follow me on the Twitter: @Bettykiss 

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