Please press play:
Happy 4th of July to my American readers and what an Independence Day it will be. Today’s Body Language Wednesday is dedicated to one thing, well two things technically: THE BAMPSY!
Whether you know me or you don’t, everyone in the WORLD was aware I saw “Magic Mike” on Saturday, June 30 of this 2012th year. Next week, I will have a post dedicated to why I loved this movie (SPOILER ALERT: My love wasn’t just about the men stripping. *dramatic inhale*) But this post…this post right here…is to draw attention to the male backside, rear, buttocks, rump, behind, bottom and my personal favourite, THE BAMPSY! Channing Tatum’s (or his body double’s) bampsy in plain view (see above), in swim trunks (he’s got those back dimples going on….daaaaaaaaaamn!) OR serving me on the dance floor; he’s reminded me I’ve been moving through this world with my head down.
Now”bampsy” isn’t a real word, it probs comes from some long line of West Indian wizards who decided this word is the one that should be used for eternity. I am not one to mess with history so…here we are. Let’s see the difference between using “bum” and “bampsy” in a conversation.
ME: Wow, Brett Lawrie is SO angry and I never really paid any attention to how outstanding his bum is.
FRIEND: Outstanding? Why do you say that? Tell me more, friend.
ME: Well, it’s so high and luscious and round and squeezable and touchable and tangible (in my dreams) and made me remember why I’m thankful for working eyeballs.
FRIEND: Oh yes, I totally understand now that you’ve explained yourself with all of those adjectives.
** VOICEOVER by Lord Richard Attenborough: “The bampsy has usually only been seen during this species mating season. But in recent years we have discovered the bampsy also presents itself during threats to its siblings and home. It is during these times of anger that the bampsy is not to be feared but studied…” **
*single blink* OKAY, back to my point…
ME: Brett Lawrie’s bampsy.
You see that?! See how that works? My friend. just. knew. A bampsy is a type of bum all on its own that can only be described as a bampsy. It’s its own noun AND adjective. To find a bampsy…on a man…who can move??? GOOD GOD! I nearly popped like a virgin balloon in the theatre. There are three very specific routines in the movie you must pay attention to, because Mike doesn’t just strip…he wants YOU to know why you’re climaxing in your seat. And he’ll tell you with his bampsy over and over and over again.
So please join me in saluting all the mens who walk just slow enough for my eyes to peruse the real estate of their tailbone balconies.
If you haven’t seen “Magic Mike” and you’ve completed a fresh load of delicates, please watch the GIFs below. If you’re on your last granny panty and you’ve already bathed, do not look. I promise you:
The quote of my weekend was: “This movie has RUINED everything…for everyone.” And it has, in the best possible way. I am ready to terrorize a man. No more warnings.
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