Tom, Tom, you play like a dream.
But that’s not why I support your team.
Your height, your eyes, your chin, your butt,
The way you yell, “Hut! Hut! Hut!”
So today when I feel that New York hatred,
I’ll shush those fools ‘cuz MY SUNDAYS ARE SACRED!
They can shut their mouths and close their eyes,
As you squat and throw to the Giants demise.
But when the game is over and you’re hugging your wife,
I’ll try not to curse you within an inch of your life.
Being straight, a girl and a fan of the game,
Reaps so many rewards, I am not ashamed.
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