How Will I Know?

The Scandal Bag.  Do you not have one?  EVERY single woman should have one on the ready in her closet, under her bed or in her bathroom cupboard.  A Scandal Bag is for unexpected fun times not a planned slumber party with your girls; you must carefully select each item and not over-pack. Being prepared for a who-knows-what-may-come evening does not make you a Slutbag Whoreface.  I know this because I’m not one and I have a Scandal Bag. No one needs to experience the walk of shame; that’s a life choice you make the moment you leave your home.  Depending on your evening, size of the purse you want to carry and going-out attire, your bag may differ.  But trust, I’ve been able to fit everything listed below in a clutch.  I’m trained – don’t make me tell you again.Here are some suggestions for you to begin assembling your own Scandal Bag:
A Panty – if I have to explain why, you don’t deserve the situation requiring a Scandal Bag.

Socks & Ballet Flats – the heels and bare leg won’t be cute in the A.M.

Toothbrush/Toothpaste – there’s no need for your mouth to be foul just ‘cuz you’re not home.

Deodorant – hopefully you worked up a right sweat!

$20 – this can cover cab fare, public transportation, a bite to eat on your way home. It’s just a safety net.

Condoms – don’t be a dummy.

Glasses, Contact Solution & Case – these items are near and dear to my own heart; I don’t go anywhere without them.

A Granola Bar – you WILL be hungry.

Small Hand Towel – drying your face on the dress you wore OR his dirty t-shirt you found on the bathroom floor ain’t a good look.

Eye Makeup Remover Wipes – self explanatory.

A Maxi Pad or Tampon – things happen.

Mobile Phone Charger – SO IMPORTANT!!!

Hair Elastic – your press and curl will NOT last the night.

Leggings – these are so necessary.  Putting these on under any party dress makes you feel more comfortable the morning after when you only have your waist-length bomber jacket.

So if you have a hot date or a night out with your friends RIFE with potential peen…unnu bettah mek shore unnu packa scandal bag! (ENGLISH TRANSLATION: Please ensure you properly pack a Scandal Bag!)

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3 responses

  1. Pingback: I’m The Only One | Single Blink

    • Hi Joakim! You’re right – this was extremely one-sided. I have just the thing for you so stay tuned for a post in February. Scandal Bags for Men (THANK YOU FOR THE IDEA!)

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