White and nerdy…

Continuing on this issue of race (I’ve received some interesting questions – hopefully this answers some of them):

"FOR EV ER"

I will be one half of an interracial coupling at any given time in my life.  History shows that I like ’em white and I like ’em nerdy. If your opinion of me changes because of this, it’s not my concern. Interracial relationships have been mixing this world up for centuries so *to the tune of Oprah’s theme song*…get with the program!

Now, my love for vanilla shakes started very early. I remember my first crush in Jr. Kindergarten on JB. His flaxen hair and lashes left me ga-ga for him. He was also so much larger than the other boys; a regular Prince Adam of Eternia.  By all the powers of Grayskull, I didn’t have a chance – the seed was planted.

I don’t think it’s possible to tally the number of men who have expressed interest in my bod-day BECAUSE I’m a blacker berry with all kinds of sweeter juice.  I can’t fault them for having a preference, however I’m not chomping at the bit to get to know them.  Here’s why:

When I know I’m being addressed solely based on a “black girl-fetish,” it immediately turns me off.  It just doesn’t have the same effect as someone telling me they like my eyes or have a great smile.  I couldn’t explain why it never sat right with me until my friend T put it this way, “I…sure as hell ain’t trying to be his interracial dating experiment.”   And that’s it exactly!  I’m a person not a test or a notch on your fantasy belt.   Honest-to-goodness pick-up line from my past:  “Do you want some cream in your Oreo?”

*one long…slooooooow single blink*

What? No!  No I do not – my black, dry biscuits are just fine so I bid you good day.  Now, think about this for reals…   This person will speak to anyone black. They don’t care who who they’re approaching as long as they are blacker than a black man’s cape.  They don’t want ME.  They don’t care about my family values or love of extra value meals! It’s all a waste.  The flip side is when I do meet a desirable black gentleman, he doesn’t want me.  It’s a United Colors of Benetton world and everyone needs to deal with that cuz I did…back in JK.

Listen, when I finally meet someone with relationshiphobia, damaged baggage and a mommy complex, I will know he’s the one.  But seriously, as extreme as these cases may seem they have been the norm in my life more times then I care to think about.  This doesn’t occur for every interracial couple in the world – I’m only talking about personal experiences.  Many people are attracted and love everyone for the people they are.  I’m not attracted to certain men because of their race – I want to know them because they’re funny and have similar interests.  It’s just that easy.

FUN FACTS: Other criteria on my checklist for potential mates include but are not limited to having a 24 hour-a-day desire for pork, a strong kinship to Roger the Alien and Steve Smith and the understanding that weekly piggyback rides are in our future pre-nup.

Please press play: 

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