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I have come to terms with some home truths* re: finding/having a partner since this New Year began. These truths are…people are F*CKING crazy when it comes to the opposite sex, myself included. This affliction makes it impossible to find anyone. I’ve certainly been electric bugaloo about men to a degree no protractor could ever measure. I’m a woman with needs that can only be tended to in my never-before-seen undergarments acquired in hopes of a man stranger giving me the time of day. Yet even when some attention is bestowed upon my bounty, it leaves me un-Snickers’d. Yes, directly unsatisfied.
Is it me? Sometimes. Am I picky? Damn straight. Is there a pool of eligible bachelors to pull from? Hells to the HELLS to the no. I’m the girl who somehow dates a gent for eight months without it becoming anything more than sleepovers because he’s just not that into me. Really, young man? I’ve been folding your laundry in the Bermuda Triangle of your Non-Committal Junction for almost a year and you’re still finding yourself? What kind of f*ckery is this? Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me every…single…time? *single blink*
Uh-uh. It’s a new dawn and a new damn day and you best believe this Betty is feeling good. I will no longer be envious of my friends. I will no longer complain because I’m annoying m’damn self. And I sure as hell won’t be a cliché any longer. I’m takin’ it to the streets…Doobie Brothers style. But without facial hair… Or a portable keyboard playing easy listening tracks from the 70’s. It’s now my duty to figure out what the hell is going on in this city I call home. Where are the men? What do they want/not want? Are they wondering where the eligible women are? Do they even care? Should they? I have so many questions I’mma get answered so set your “faces” to “stunned” (see what I did there?) I may also be single because I reference Star Trek as often as possible.
*Home Truths are hard facts; an unfiltered way of being honest to or about someone. Sometimes these ‘truths’ hurt your feelings but they are always given with the best intentions.