I’m Not Supposed To Love You Anymore…

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…AND I DON’T.

It’s been about two months since I said “buh-bye” to online dating and this is usually the hardest time for me. I’ll be itching to start up again; thinking of ways to make my profile the best it’s ever been. And I can honestly say I don’t miss it, not even a little bit.

This is huge for me, folks!

It’s like I’ve finally had enough of an abusive relationship and I’m out for good.

UPDATES:

Have I been on any dates since permanently deleting my online profiles?

No.

BACK TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED POST:

Where are the men? I still don’t know. Am I closer to having them discover my black berry? Only time can tell. Do I want permanent peen? *single blink* 

You. Have. No. Idea.

I’ve taken to working out and focusing on work. I’ve been cooking a lot more. I’ve decided to become even more addicted to television and I didn’t think it was possible (“Scandal.” ABC. Thursdays at 10PM EST. Make this happen for yourself.) I truly believe this summer is going to bring a lot of romantic possibilities and my head/heart is open for them.

I’ve decided to take my best friend’s advice and walk through life as though every man and woman wants me – head held high, strut like a black stallion (racial!) and body bangin’.

I’m happy, friends. Truly happy with how things are for the first time in a long time, so I’m sure things will all fall into their right place.

Until next week…

How Much Wood Would A Woodchuck Chuck?

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Lessons of Summer 2012:

1. Old loves/lusts come out of the dyam woodwork. Where did you come from all of a sudden? Seriously!
2. Like my red Olympic mittens, men vanish when I need them in the Fall/Winter and somehow reappear in the warm months when I’m OVER it/them.
3. When I’m enjoying my warm weather months with a potential, the oldies smell my happiness and do everything in the power to ATTACK it.

One, none or all of these instances may be something you’ve experienced in the past or are currently going through. It’s a cray phenomenon I’d like to leave up to Bill Nye to figure out and then break it down in a way only a four year old could understand. Why is the flow of NEW men so inconsistent? Is it strictly a matter of”Spring Fever?” Does something open their eyes and hearts to the attractivity of me once the temperature gets into the double digits? Is there a seasonal reminder that goes off in their heads where they feel obligated to disturb my sanity?!?!?!?  ’Cuz my libeeds (aka libido) is outta all control 365 days a year and I can’t be the only one who thinks it’s DAMN rude to be thought of only when it’s convenient for them…can I? *single blink*

If you’re anything like me, you have learned the hard way that the only way to survive the summer is to shut down the woodchucks trying to chomp on your limber lumber. Beggars cannot be choosers, but I’m past the point of begging and you are too (trust me!) We’re all good enough and smart enough to know when someone is trying to make us their backburner booty call.  So join me in telling them all to galang.

All of the men…GALANG!!!